Content deleted Content added
Alistair1978 (talk | contribs) m typo (via WP:JWB) |
No edit summary |
||
Line 37:
The many popular, satirical, running gags revolved around:
*Nintendo executive and design staff - [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] (most commonly referred by NGC as 'Shigsy'), [[Hiroshi Yamauchi]] ([[Nintendo|NCL]]'s former President, who the magazine regularly called absolutely terrifying), [[Satoru Iwata]],
*Having the readers send in weird things to win stuff: Luigi papier-mache statues, photos of people dressed up as game characters, and pieces of alternative wisdom known as 'Sense Talks'. One famous competition asked readers to send in "[[wikt:tat|tat]]" of their own in exchange for over £1000s worth of tat from the N64 offices. Among the N64 tat was a life-sized cardboard cut-out of [[Turok]], star of several N64 games, along with two [[Wig (hair)|wigs]] that apparently belonged to Jes Bickham: the caption read "Make no mistake: when you see Jes striding down the street in his size threes wearing these hairpieces, you know he means business". This competition was repeated when NGC later reached its final issue.
*Random nonsense on popular love/hate-relationship characters: [[Toad (Nintendo)|Toad]], [[Luigi]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic]], [[Tingle (character)|Tingle]], [[Diddy Kong]], [[Krystal (Star Fox)|Krystal]], [[Lex Luthor]], [[Yoshi]], [[Kirby (Nintendo)|Kirby]], [[Jango Fett]], and [[Jar Jar Binks]].
Line 91:
|-
| '''5/5'''
|
[[Kirby: Power Paintbrush]] (DS) - Issue 113<br>
[[Gunstar Future Heroes]] (GBA) - Issue 113<br>
Line 100 ⟶ 101:
[[Wario Ware Touched!]] (DS) - Issue 105<br>
[[Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars]] (GBA) - Issue 66<br>
[[Super Mario Advance 2]] (GBA) - Issue 64<br>
[[Doom (1993 video game)|Doom]] (GBA) - Issue 62<br>
Line 155 ⟶ 156:
The magazine's reviews of games they considered to be terrible were enjoyed by readers due to the use of comically savage language to more convey the staff's disgust with a particular game – in descending order:
*''[[ClayFighter 63⅓]] (N64)'': 24% - Was described as being "as painful as... having red hot needles shoved into your eyes"; the Top Tip section revealed that "Breaking the cart open reveals several chips of varying thickness. Stack them together to prop up wobbly chairs, etc."
*''[[Cruis'n USA]] (N64)'': 24% was described, simply, as "dump".
*''[[Rampage 2: Universal Tour]] (N64)'': 22% - Declared an "utterly rancid arcade yawn-fest".
*''
*''[[Wheel of Fortune (video game)|Wheel Of Fortune]] (N64)'': 17% - Another US quiz show port, this was found to be "worse than accidentally falling off a cliff. And surviving".
*''[[Castleween]] (GameCube)'': 16% - This platformer's attempt to attract the younger generation of gamers was described via "Although it's aimed squarely at the ultra young market, we can't imagine many small children having the patience to endure an 'entertainment' experience as arduous as this. Not when pushing lolly sticks into dog turds offers so much more long-term excitement, and is a good £40 cheaper".
Line 169 ⟶ 170:
*''[[Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero|Mortal Kombat Mythologies]] (N64)'': 9% - Possibly the most despised game of NGC Magazine's history; the price was stated as "£Too much", the mini-review stated that "This could only be less enjoyable if it squirted sulphuric acid into your face," and the staff's frustration with the game's mechanics was revealed in a tip section: "Creep along in that sideways spider fashion and then GET CRUSHED BY A PILLAR. Place your fist into TV screen".
*''[[Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue (video game)|Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue]] (N64)'': 9% - Described by Greener as "60 of the most bitterly tedious minutes" of his life. Was also described as "constipated puppet men jerking their way around [[Lego]]-built cities".
*''[[Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now|Carmageddon 64]] (N64)'': 8% - Was the lowest rated from 1999 until the end of 2004, and was described as "brain-meltingly awful" and "a shocking travesty": players were instructed, if they saw the game in the shops, to "take it off the shelves, rip up the box and throw the cart repeatedly at the wall until it breaks";
*''
*''[[Lego Island 2 The Brickster's Revenge]] (N64)'': 3% - "And you think that Clayfighter was bad? Wait til you see this. It is THE worst game on the console, except for a game which actually throws up instantly without any further ado. Avoid like the plague." Top Tip Section: "Press all the directional pad buttons and then LOSE in the rocket ship test, then pull the cartridge out and play baseball with it in place of the ball." The magazine decided to cancel the port in anger.
And, two final honorable mentions:
*''
*''[[Giftpia]] (GameCube)'': ??% - Awarded the score for the fact that it was so heavy in Japanese that they didn't have a clue what was going on in the game and thus didn't feel they could award a score. However, the review was not unfavourable to the game's graphics and sound, giving them marks of 8 (out of 10) and 7 respectively, and even making the comment that "There's clearly a quite brilliant game lurking beneath the realms of the Japanese text".
|