Masochist
“Please hurt me!”
“...No, lol...”
“I used to enjoy masochism, but never as an alternative to good old fashioned bum!!!!!”
Masochists are people who love being hurt by themselves or others. Give them an inch and they're scream for a mile.
Beginnings[edit | edit source]
Most masochists know they're masochists at an early age. The common playground rhyme 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me' is seen as an obvious example of young masochism. Masochists are especially spotted when young if Christian, for their failed attempts to apply the Golden Rule. Also if your child enjoys being spanked, it may be a clue.
During adolescence most people go through a 'masochist phase' where they deliberately acquire acne, lose the ability to speak English, and get aroused at the wrong time so as to deny themselves sex. Women, especially, are prone to masochism during these years, and have been known to put needles in their ears, inject ink above their rump, and wear bondage clothing and pain-inducing foot clamps known as 'jeans and heels'.
Maturity[edit | edit source]
By a certain age most people experimenting in masochism give up on it, instead opting by their own volition to go work in a box pushing pencils and acting submissive to people who don't care about them, returning to their box at night and paying bills. Some, however, are natural masochists and continue to inflict pain on themselves by going to jobs in cubicles writing memos for bosses, returning to their apartments at night and paying bills.
Some masochists choose not to display signs of masochistic behavior in public because they're ashamed of themselves. These persons usually engage in masochism in secret. Masochists are generally well accepted in society, but stigma can sometimes remain from ancient times, or certain religious orders.
Masochists Today[edit | edit source]
The popular magazine Masochists Today enjoys a large readership base in the U.S. It is known for dispelling stereotypes about masochists and features a popular column called 'Did You Know...':
- ...30% of masochists prefer flagellations from riding-crops to whips.
- ...Charlie Brown was the first masochist portrayed in American newspapers.
“I'll kick the football this time...”
- ...Masochists reproduce by budding.
Subtle Masochism[edit | edit source]
For the main article on this subject, see Humasochism
Masochism is not always about being hurt and enjoying that. Some masochists only like to be humiliated and when they are presented in a silly way, that can help them in their personal development. A classic way of doing this, is by sucking on a banana. Science has long established that banana's are not edible, but according to urban myth, they are, and because of that, sucking on a banana can strike reasonable people as very irrational and the person who is engaged in the act as not very intelligent. A generic term for this trait of character is humasochism.
See also[edit | edit source]
- A Man Getting Hit in the Crotch 800 Times
- HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw
- Why?:Hit yourself on the head with a baseball bat seven or eight times
- Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?