Talk:Treehouse of Horror XIX/GA1

GA Review

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GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
See comments below

B. MoS compliance:
I'm not a crazy MOS hound, but it looks good to me.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
How about specifying that "Show Patrol" is part of RedEye somehow, it wasn't obviously reliable till I realized this.

C. No original research:
The Kang and Kodos part might be OR. You might be able to convince me otherwise, or just say they didn't speak without saying it's the first time. Also, if you keep it, it should be moved to somewhere lower in the article.|The Kang and Kodos part might be OR. You might be able to convince me otherwise, or just say they didn't speak without saying it's the first time. Also, if you keep it, it should be moved to somewhere lower in the article.
That's just in there because IPs keep adding it. It's true, but I haven't found a reliable source for this yet, so I removed it. -- Scorpion ⁰⁴²² 22:40, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Pretty good article. Fix the issues below, and I'll pass it.

Comments

I haven't seen this episode, just so you know.

The lead should summarize the whole article: got mixed reviews, some controversy over the word gay.

Done.

The prose could use some work. The non-plot sections are kind of choppy, but I imagine that's due to the sources. If you can make them flow better go for it, otherwise it's fine.

I've made a few small changes in hopes of improving the flow.

The opening scene part should be broken up into smaller sentences, instead of using tons of commmas. This should be done in a number of places in the plot section.

The explanation for that is that a lot of IPs and users come in and add in a short statement about a relatively minor part of the episode. I've done a small copyedit of the plot.

Here are some examples of things that could be fixed in "How to Get Ahead in Dead-Vertising". Look for similar problems in the other plot sections.

"while her parents are away." while away from her parents?

Done.

" Krusty arrives to have the images of his face sandblasted from the mural, as his likeness is copyrighted and used without his permission, making Maggie upset." I think this would read better as two sentences.

Done.

"Homer is later approached by businessmen who have heard of his deed and explain that the likenesses of dead celebrities can be put in commercials for free since they often refuse to sponsor certain products."

""The manage to convince Homer" they?

Fixed.

"Krusty convinces all the dead celebrities to descend from heaven and stage an attack upon all those who benefited from their deaths" dont' think you need either "all"

Done.

"After Lisa sees everyone at school having a Halloween party and she grows tired of waiting and leaves in frustration." maybe "After Lisa sees everyone at school having a Halloween party, she grows tired of waiting and leaves in frustration."

Fixed.

How about turning "Rather than taking sides in the election, Al Jean says it is "mostly a comment on what many people to believe to be the irregularities in our voting system.[sic]"[3]" into two sentences and have it end the paragraph. The production section can then be three paragraphs.

I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one, I think it works better as a single sentence.

"match its namesake was because" doesn't need "was", otherwise production is pretty good.

Fixed.

"It was the highest rated episode of the night in the 18–49 demographic and was the sixteenth highest rated show of the week and the fourth highest rated on Fox after" how about "It was the highest rated episode of the night in the 18–49 demographic, the sixteenth highest rated show of the week, and the fourth highest rated on Fox after"

Done.

"writing that it, "succeeds"" extra comma not needed, otherwise reception is pretty good,

Done.

"series with no controversy" how about "series without controversy"

Done.

"Awards and nominations" is pretty small, how about putting it in "Reception"

Okay, done.

Thanks a lot for the review. -- Scorpion ⁰⁴²² 22:40, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I passed it. Good work. I think I'll do another simpsons GA. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 23:25, 19 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]