George of the Jungle (1997)

Thomas Haden Church: Lyle Van de Groot

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lyle : Hey! The important thing, Kwame, is that I was outnumbered.

  N'Dugo : [in Swahili, subtitled]  It's easy to be outnumbered when you're a zero.

• Max : 50 zamoles a man, what do you say?

  Kwame : They only speak Swahili.

  Swahili Guide : [in English]  100 zamoles a man and you've got a deal.

  Lyle : Wait a second...

  Max : Done.

  [guides laugh] 

• [Translating with a Swahili phrasebook] 

  Lyle : Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning.

• Lyle : [to Max about George]  Could you see if he's dangerous?

  George : [whiny voice]  Here, boy. Where's my little doggy?

  Max : I've got a feeling he's not.

• Lyle : White ape. Sounds like a drink

  [mockingly] 

  Lyle : Yes, bartender, I'll have two black russians and a white ape.

  Narrator : A drink the venal Van de Groot would be begging to imbibe, if he only knew how close the white ape was at that very moment. Flying through the foliage, surveying the scenery, and swinging on through the trees with effortless ease.

  George : [hits tree]  Ow!

• [as Thor aims his rifle at Shep, Ape roars and jumps out of the treehouse, landing the ground] 

  Ape : Run, Shep! Run for your life!

  Max : Did that monkey just speak?

  Thor : That monkey just spoke!

  Ursula Stanhope : I *knew* it!

  Lyle Van de Groot : He *talked*!

  Max : [to Thor]  Shoot it now.

  Ape : [turns and notices Max and Thor]  Hmm?

  Max : [lowers Thor's rifle]  With the tranquilizer gun, you idiot! The ape's worth a fortune!

  George : *No*!

  [runs towards Ape] 

  Lyle Van de Groot : [aims his handgun at George]  Stop or I'll shoot!

  [shoots George in slow motion] 

  Ape : No!

  Lyle Van de Groot : No!

  Ursula Stanhope : George!

  [fade to white] 

  Narrator : Whoo! OK, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.

• Lyle : No hard feelings, Stonebelly. The best man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the guy who brought mercenaries won; *that's* all.

• Lyle : Ursula, I found your scrunchie.

• [Kwame and his comrades are visiting the African jail, identifying the person who shot George by accident] 

  N'Dugo : No. Too short. Too sweaty.

  N'Dugo : [pause, he sees Lyle]  Wait a second! That's the guy. That's the guy who shot him. I never forget a face.

  Lyle : Me?

  [Kwame and his comrades laugh] 

• [after Lyle comes to take Ursla away] 

  George : Now George really mad! George tear off your...

  [after this, Geroge gets caught by the German army men] 

  Mercenary : At ease, jungle boy. Everybody freeze now!

  German Army Man : Operation completed as ordered, sir.

  Lyle : Thank you, Gunner, Gunter, Hans, Jan... and Phil.

  Entire Group : Thank you, sir!

  Lyle : No hard feelings, stone belly. The best man won that's all. Or I should say the guy who brought mercenaries on. That's all.

• [while seeing a footprint, the Swahili guides are speaking to Mr. Kwame in Swahili] 

  Lyle : [pushes one of the Swahili guides]  Let me through.

  Lyle : [then approaches Mr. Kwame]  What's happening?

  Kwame : This footprint does not belong to any of my men.

  Max : [to Thor]  See? There's your proof, the white ape does exist. Now all we have to do is track down the girl and the ape's in the bag.

• [Lyle, Max, Thor, Kwame and his comrades are taking a walk on a trail] 

  Lyle : Gosh, this trail is really rough.

  N'Dugo : [in Swahili, subtitled]  Drop him! You're not his donkey.

  [Lyle gets off one of Kwame's comrades' back] 

  N'Dugo : [in Swahili, subtitled] 

  [mocking Lyle] 

  N'Dugo : "Ursula! Ursula!" Next cliff we pass, he's history.

  [Kwame's comrades have a conversation in Swahili and start walking without Lyle] 

  Lyle : Hey, come back here.

  Max : They're not abandoning us, are they?

  Kwame : They are threatening.