Legally Blonde (2001)

Jennifer Coolidge: Paulette

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elle : Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.

  Paulette : Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

• Paulette : Is she as pretty as you?

  Elle : She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.

• Paulette : [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian]  So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

• Paulette : [to her ex-husband]  I'm takin' the dog... DUMBASS!

• Paulette : So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

• Elle : That's great, Paulette. Is that the only interaction you two have ever had?

  Paulette : No! Sometimes I say "okay" instead of "fine."

• Paulette : [Paulette gets nervous talking to the UPS man and spills nail solution all over the table]  Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?

• [Elle has decided to quit law school after Professor Callahan made a pass on her. She is saying goodbye to Paulette] 

  Elle : What's the point in staying, Paulette? I mean, all people see when they look at me is blond hair and big boobs. No one's ever gonna take me seriously. The people at law school don't. Warner doesn't. I don't think my own parents take me seriously. I just felt, like, for the first time that someone expected me to... to do something more with my life than just become a Victoria's Secret model. But I was just kidding myself. Callahan never saw me as a lawyer, he just saw me as a piece of ass. Just like everybody else.

  [sadly] 

  Elle : Turns out... I am a joke.

  Paulette : [compassionately]  No, you're not a joke.

  Elle : [They hug; unbeknowst to them, a woman is getting her hair done behind them]  The hell with law school. I just wanted to say goodbye.

  [the woman getting her hair done turns around and is revealed to be Professor Stromwell] 

  Professor Stromwell : [to Elle]  If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life...

  [approaches Elle, who stares at her in astonishment] 

  Professor Stromwell : ... You're not the girl I thought you were.

  [Stromwell smiles knowingly and admiringly at Elle before leaving. Elle stands there, stunned]