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The Outer Limits: Human Trials (2002)
The same rating I give any clipshow...
***WARNING*** This is a clip-show. The habit of this otherwise fine reboot of the 1960s series was marred by the producer's habit of making the final episode of each season (including this, the series finale) a clip-show.
Like most of the breed, this show is a waste of time. This concept was invented by science fiction writer A. E. Van Vogt (he called them "fix-ups").. Van Vogt used the technique to string together unrelated short stories into novels. Granted, he did a better job of it than the TV hacks, but the seams STILL showed.
All this TV nonsense goes back to my own childhood and Desi Arnaz. Seems you were not allowed to say words like "pregnant," "constipated," "hell," "damn" and a host of others on TV. You couldn't show a toilet either. A pregnant woman? You'll go straight to hell!
When Lucille Ball got pregnant (sorry--"expecting" or "with child") and started to show, she was NOT allowed to appear on camera. Desi invented the clip-show to keep the show on the air. This just gets dumber when you understand that Lucy and Desi owned the studio (Desilu). Desi also cooked up the rerun, to plug some other holes. Episodes would typically start with the other characters sitting around and someone saying, "Remember the time Lucy..." and we're off to the races.
This is a lame attempt on the part of the producers and writer to plug a hole. If these people could really write, they wouldn't waste their time writing TV full time.
Clip-shows really stink!
The Outer Limits: Manifest Destiny (2000)
A clear case of "sci-fi."
I haven't written any reviews to speak of lately but want to put in a plug for a review written by a member who signs himself as "Sandsquish."
He's spot on with this one. The writing wasn't horrible and the story was decent. I lay any defects at the feet of the producers and the sponsors (in that order, though it used to be the other way around). Producers think viewers are idiots, mostly because THEY don't get it. Sponsors don't like anything they think will demean whatever they're trying to get you to buy. For a common example of this thinking, read about the network reaction to the first "Star Trek" pilot.
This episode, and virtually everything else in TV-land related to speculative fiction, can be classified as "sci-fi."
It is well to remember that when Forrest J Ackerman coined the term "sci-fi" back in the 1950s, he wasn't talking about anything good, and certainly not "science fiction."
Sandsquish's point about the numerous info dumps identifies the major flaw with this episode, and so many other teleplays. The only thing more annoying is the notes in scripts that read, "insert technobabble here." You might watch it once, but you're not going to watch it twice,
In summary, an OK story, poorly told.
Tombstone Territory: Frozen Assets (1960)
The Episode Description
I wish people would learn the difference between "infer" and "imply." Illiterate posts are the bane of the web. Just sayin'.
Tombstone Territory: For Want of a Nail (1959)
First use of the Moulage technique in a western...
...that I know of, that is. The French word means "casting" or "molding." BTW--the contributor who wrote the main plot description should be aware that the correct word is "cast," NOT "caste."
The Ray Bradbury Theater: The Earthmen (1992)
Another piece of Bradbury's _The Martian Chronicles_
A review posted here indicates support for my thinking that no one seems to bother reading books any more. This is a story from Ray Bradbury's _The Martian Chronicles_-- not a novel but, as A.E. van Vogt called it, a fix-up.
Many of the stories that comprise the "Chronicles" were published as stand-alone pieces in the pulps. This one first saw print in 1948 and deals with the Second Martian Expedition landing near a Martian reservation populated by psychotics and other assorted nut cases.
The fun of it is that, since Martians are telepathic, they sometimes produce real-seeming hallucinations. Guess what they thought of four men in weird clothes knocking on doors and explaining about being from another planet?
This teleplay is a pretty good adaptation of the story--not a big surprise seeing as both the story and teleplay were written by the same writer. Indeed, if the boneheads in the networks would give actual writers more creative control, the science fiction on television would be a lot better.
This episode is fun to watch, *if* you understand what's going on.
Sliders: The Last of Eden (1997)
Another case of TV plagiarism disguised as writing.
Think (as has been pointed out by others) _The Time Machine_ by H.G. Wells. I suppose they get away with it because no one actually reads books any more. This episode signals the leading edge of this series "jumping the shark."
Riverworld (2010)
Sci-Fi (OK, "SyFy") Has Done it Again!
What they've done is to take a great story created by a great writer (Philip Jose Farmer) and turn it into an unbelievable mess. To top it off, they did it TWICE. I have to hand it to them, though--this pile of crap is even higher and smellier than the first effort back in 2003. Granted, they had a lot of help from directors and writers and production companies that know nothing about SF, but SyFy gets the bulk of the blame here.
Two of Farmer's short pieces, "The Day of the Great Shout" (1965) and "The Suicide Express" (1966), evolved into a truly wonderful story, published in novel form and entitled "To Your Scattered Bodies Go" (1971).
In Farmer's story, everyone who ever lived on Earth have found themselves resurrected as healthy, young, and naked people on the grassy banks of an enormous river. Given food, but with no clues to the meaning of their strange new afterlife, billions of people from every period of Earth's history--and prehistory--must start again.
Prior to the event that came to be known as "Resurrection Day," Sir Richard Francis Burton gains an unplanned glimpse behind the scenes and is the first to realize that the Riverworld is no traditional afterlife. This forbidden sight would spur the renowned 19th-century explorer to uncover the truth. Along with a remarkable group of compatriots, including Alice Liddell Hargreaves (the Victorian girl who was the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland), an English-speaking Neanderthal, a WWII Holocaust survivor, and a wise extraterrestrial. Burton sets sail on the magnificent river to learn the truth.
Giving the newly resurrected metal, technology, horses and all the rest spoils the whole concept by depriving the viewer of the experience of seeing human beings take the very little they start with and build something wonderful.
Go read the book--this movie is a waste of time.
The Time Travelers (1964)
This was a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
First saw this one in a theater when I was sixteen--sat through it twice. It's a pretty standard entry in the "what comes after the end of the world" genre, from the "we did it to ourselves" theme to the cheesy mutants (lots of mutants in the fifties and sixties--them atom bombs, y'know).
That said, this is a pretty good movie with some familiar faces. Preston Foster is the obligatory 1960s German Scientist--no accent, but he does sport a monocle and a goatee. Foster is the veteran of quite a few two reeler Westerns. Philip Carey is the "hunky" Scientist. His claim to fame is that he was Philip Marlowe on TV. The real pro here is John Hoyt, who did just about everything one could do on film and TV. Merry Anders (remember "Dragnet?") and Steve Franken, as the love interest and comic relief, respectively, round out the cast.
As for the story line, the protagonists sure are a lucky bunch--after winding up on a burned-out earth, they manage to stumble onto the only bunch of people on the whole planet who have any technology and are actually willing to help them out.
The only real minus is that there is a considerable amount of dead time comprising views of the future scientists' underground labs and factories, all to the strains of perky background music, but it's not too excruciating.
As with all drama, there is conflict, mostly with the aforementioned mutants. In addition, there's a "villain" among the future people. Not that he's really what you'd call "evil"--he's more of a cranky guy who just doesn't like competition with the bunch from the past.
Even with the holes, the story is better than many other SF offerings of the era and has a neat little twisty ending. If you really want to close the loop on this one, watch the whole show then replay the beginning. Watch carefully and you'll see what I mean just prior to the line, "What was that?" about six and a half minutes in.
Hard core fans, be sure to look for Forrest J Ackerman at about minute 44.
RV (2006)
Robin Williams makes it worth the watching.
If you collect movies, put this one on the shelf right next to The Long Long Trailer.
A silly movie with few surprises, it is nevertheless fun for Williams fans.
Jeff Daniels and Kristin Chenoweth are well cast as the ever optimistic, way too cheerful and overly helpful Gornickes. Turns out they teach you not to judge a book by its cover.
There are a few good laughs here and any office drones watching will be pleased with Williams' handling of his Yuppie boss and the snotty kid-in-a-suit. I certainly appreciated that part.
No big prizes here, but a pleasant enough way to spend an hour-and-a-half.
The Sure Hand of God (2004)
Typical Erskine Caldwell
Stepdad dies after spending what would have been his estate on bad poker hands, white trash mom decides to arrange for daughter to marry rich and the rest just follows along.
The casting was good, the acting was acceptable, for television, and the story kept moving. That's about all you can expect from TV these days. It's worth a couple of hours if you have nothing else to do.
I must confess to being confused by the review about the "evil Christians." It appears this guy has an ax to grind, and this isn't the place. I spent a bit of time in places such as where this story is set, and the woods are full of "Christians" like those in the film. Given Caldwell's father's vocation and after the way the author was raked over the coals early in his career by the forces of Christian Decency, it's little wonder many of his stories come off the way they do.
Prescription: Murder (1968)
Getting it Right the First Time
Peter Falk has done a lot of television over the past 45-plus years, but he is doubtless destined to be "Columbo" forever - not that this is a bad thing.
I recall seeing this, the first entry in the series, sometime in the 1970s, as a rerun, and thinking just how good it was. Watching it again over 30 years later, I find my opinion hasn't changed - this is a wonderful movie.
Most first efforts seem to vary widely from what a character becomes over time. Actors need time to grow into a role. Not, however, Peter Falk as Columbo - the man was obviously born to play this part.
Even if you've seen every episode of "Columbo" ever made twice, this one is well worth watching again. It's written to the same formula as the rest - you know who the murderer is and how the murder was done before the cops ever show up. The fun (and it is fun) is in watching Columbo figure it all out, sometimes with the unwitting aid of the murderer. And, as usual, there's "just one more thing . . ."
I do have to wonder, however, why a man who solves cases no one else can crack just can't seem to make Captain. Thirty-five years is a long time to be a Lieutenant. :-)
Ladykiller (1992)
A Sort of Mystery
The plot -- Mimi Rogers is a lady cop named "Michael." She drinks with the guys, but has no love life to speak of. She is a member of a video dating service, but can't make up her mind whether or not to call anyone for a date.
Jack Packard (John Shea), claiming to be an engineer named "Tim Smith," shows up at her apartment late at night, says he's from the dating service and sweet-talks her into dinner and sex.
She finds out that "Tim" is really "Jack," a married rich guy, and tells him to leave her alone.
From this point on, you have to wonder what this women is using for a brain. For starters, she gets reinvolved with Jack, and from that point on things get complicated, in a soap-opera sense.
Shea's performance is unremarkable, which is too bad, but the movie is watchable if you have nothing better to do.
Things pick up somewhat during the final third of the film, so hang in there if you want to see how it all comes out.
Lady Killer (1995)
Not one of the Best
What could have been a pretty good stalker movie wound up a cheesy chick-flick.
Judith Light, sporting some of the ugliest hair-dos (can't call them "styles") ever, plays a middle-aged woman with way too much money and just about zero sense.
Light's character, a married woman named Janice Mitchell, is almost impossible to sympathize with. Here's a woman whose husband makes megabucks, but spends a lot of time on the road. Janice whines to her shrink about how empty her life is. Boo Hoo.
She meets a Younger Man and has a brief affair. Turns out the guy is a nut job, and that's the plot. Hubby comes home, suddenly starts paying attention to her and she tells the youngster to take a hike. Of course, he won't and starts stalking her.
To further showcase her stupidity, she lies to the cops about knowing the guy after he tries to rape her.
All in all, a somewhat painful way to spend two hours.
Taken (2002)
Made for Commercials
"Taken" is two to four hours of pretty good story packed into twenty hours of television. The people who make commercials and sell air time must love this thing. In 20 hours of American TV, you're looking at about five hours of commercials. Five HOURS! That's SIX HUNDRED thirty-second spots to sell.
This would have been much better if it were made to the proper length. Any film is bound to have a scene or two that drags, but it's amazing that in "Taken," just about every scene seems to have been dragged out just as long as possible. Too bad, because it's really not a bad story, there are interesting characters and good effects.
The Spring (2000)
Chick-flik masquerading as Sci-Fi Horror
This is the typical "small town with something to hide" story. In this case, the "something" is a spring that keeps the inhabitants perpetually young -- until they reach their centennial. When a townie reaches the age of 100, the community throws a lavish birthday party, the climax of which is the murder of the guest of honor. One way to control the population, I guess.
Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" is a much better example of the genre.
The most notable thing about this movie is that the author of the book upon which the movie is based, Clifford Irving, did 14 months in jail for defrauding his publisher with a phony "authorized" biography of Howard Hughes.
There's nothing great or really memorable about this movie, but it's a pleasant enough way to kill a couple of hours.
Dying to Love You (1993)
Alternate Title: Terminal Stupidity
This (allegedly) based-on-a-true story TV movie concerns a woman on the run from the FBI and a *seriously* stupid guy.
First, we have Roger Paulson (Tim Matheson), a "regular guy" type with a mind-numbing job, an ex-wife, a kid he hardly ever gets to see and some cats.
Next, there is "Elaine-Lisa-you name it" (Tracy Pollan), a smart, sexy, good looking woman whose tongue would burst into flame if she ever told the truth.
Roger and Lisa meet when she answers a lonely-hearts ad. Roger is one of these poor saps who can't seem to handle living alone, so after his wife dumped him, he places his ad.
It doesn't take long for Roger to figure out that Lisa is *not* a good person, but he has no idea how to get rid of her. He doesn't even have enough sense to change the locks on his apartment door after he throws her out.
Go ahead and watch this if you don't have anything else to do.
Earth vs the Spider (1958)
It Must Be Them Atom Bombs!
It's 1958, and `atom' bombs are responsible for any number of weird and wonderful things. DDT is an unqualified friend to Man and giant insects hate rock n' roll.
The `big name' actor in this film is Ed Kemmer, who plays the part of a high school science teacher. Kemmer starred as Commander Buzz Corry in Space Patrol (aka Satellite Police), a 1951 radio and TV show for which he reportedly got $8 per episode. I never heard of any one of the others in the cast list, and no one inspired me enough for me to go through the exercise of looking them up.
The way this goes is, a girl's father runs his pick-up off a dirt road and disappears. The girl rounds up her boyfriend and they go looking for dad. After finding the wrecked truck, they discover a cave containing a giant spider web. Later on, girl, boyfriend, the cops and the high school science teacher go looking for dad and discover what's left of him, along with a giant spider.
The spider is (supposedly) killed with a 50% solution of DDT and stored in the high school gym. The giant arachnid is reanimated by some loud music, eats the school custodian and goes on a rampage. The rest of the movie goes pretty much as you would expect.
One item of note is that the story was co written by George Worthing Yates, who penned a couple of dozen pretty well known scary movies, including `Earth vs the Flying' Saucers and `Them!' There's a plug for another Yates film, `Attack of the Puppet People' in this movie as well.
For those of us over the age of 50 or so, there are a lot of little nostalgic things you know -- cars that don't all look alike, Civil Defense sirens, people who call helicopters `whirlybirds' and things like that.
I wouldn't waste the price of a rental on this, but if you have absolutely nothing else to do for an hour and a half or so, it won't kill you to watch it. As is usual for this sort of thing, there is a good bit of unintentional humor, and the cars are kind of cool.
The Lost World (2001)
Lost Again
Here we have yet another remake of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Lost World." By my count, this effort brings the total to seven, counting the TV movies (of which this is one) but NOT counting any of the Michael Crichton/Steven Spielberg efforts, since they have absolutely nothing to do with Doyle's story.
As with other film versions of this story, certain key elements of the story are brought into the film, some supporting characters are added and others are ignored or discarded entirely. One common bit of tampering is the addition of a woman to practically all the 19th and early 20th century adventure tales, and this one is no exception. The fact that the female character is generally useless doesn't seem to bother the producers or the scriptwriters, so who am I to criticize? The main characters, Professors Challenger and Summerlee, big-game hunter Lord John Roxton and newsman Edward Malone, each appear in some distorted form in every film version of the story.
Considering this is a TV movie, I suppose I have to cut the producers some slack. The story was OK and the FX adequate. Peter Falk was well cast, and his character, which did not exist in the book, added an interesting twist to the story. The sad story of Edward Malone and his airheaded girlfriend was left as Doyle wrote it, and will have a lot of guys nodding with sad understanding at the end of the film. Roxton's character was well drawn, but I'm not sure I like how he wound up at the end. The female character was, well, there. All things considered, this version is certainly not the worst of the lot.
The real problem I have with this version (and with most of the others as well) is with the casting and characterization of George Edward Challenger. As much as I like Bob Hoskins in other parts, he was just plain wrong for this one. Physically, he isn't up to it. Doyle's Challenger is bigger than life. George Edward Challenger is a thundering, bombastic, ego-driven buffalo of a man -- a force of nature. The second you meet this man you despise him. The problem is, of course, that Challenger is right – right about the plateau, right about the dinosaurs, right about the whole crazy tale – and it drives his peers nuts. Hoskins' humble, laid-back Challenger just doesn't cut it. For this part think John Rhys-Davies, who appeared as Challenger in 1992. Unfortunately, that effort was a major dud because on a horrible script.
The Lost World was written in 1912 and first made into a movie in 1925, five years before Doyle's death at age 71 from heart failure. Since you can't look anywhere without seeing a dinosaur these days, I suppose the producers can be forgiven for making yet another needless version of this story. If you want to find out what 'really' happened, go get the book.
Outrage (1998)
If you Want Something Done Right . . .
This is ostensibly the story of a man's fight to defend himself and his family against three punks who have decided to make a target of him. What the story is really about is one of the problems with our legal system -- specifically the manner in which the police and the courts deal with juvenile criminals.
An independent insurance salesman named Tom Casey (Rob Lowe) is targeted by three well-to-do preppies that like to boost car stereos and trash other peoples' property for kicks. Casey observed the kids about to break into a car and reported their activities to the police. The cops arrive just in time to see the three breaking into Casey's car, with the head kid fondling a loaded revolver Casey kept under the front seat.
The cops arrest the trio of Yuppie larva for breaking into Casey's car and we learn that the head slime's mommy is a lawyer. A Rich Lawyer.
Casey, whose car has been completely trashed by the time the cops arrive, is arrested and charged with felony possession of a loaded handgun, for which he draws fifteen days in the lockup thanks to the truly lame defense offered by his brother-in-law.
Meanwhile, Mommy goes to Family Court and gets the charges against her Little Darling reduced to a wrist slap. Money fixes all, the kids walk away laughing and singing `I Love New York,' and get on with the serious business of harassing Casey's pregnant wife.
The remainder of the story unfolds in a fairly predictable manner, with so-so performances from the kids and a very good performance from Lowe.
The moral of this story seems to be, if you want something done right, do it yourself. If you want excuses, call the police.
Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990)
An OK cartoon
Ted Turner's idea of helping the planet, doubtless at the behest of Jane Fonda.
An entertaining enough cartoon show with some good guest stars. Unfortunately, any educational value the concept may have had is nullified by the vast amounts of mis-information and outright preaching in each episode.
Lathe of Heaven (2002)
A Miss
I am at a loss to understand why producers feel the need to remake perfectly good movies into mediocre movies. I just don't get it.
Ursula K. Le Guin's tale of George Orr, a wretched young man with the power to alter reality by literally dreaming up a new one, is a good story with many layers. George falls victim to a well-meaning (at first, anyway) psychotherapist, Dr. Haber, who uses George to remake the universe. George is one of those poor souls who cannot resist the will of anyone he perceives to be an authority and consequently finds himself remaking the universe to Haber's specifications. We all know that the road to a well known place is paved with good intentions, and this supplies the conflict that makes the drama.
If you've never read Ursula K. Le Guin's novel or seen the 1980 PBS film, you might like this effort. Otherwise, don't waste your time. This movie wimped out in several places by watering down the script to avoid any racial overtones, so well handled in both the book and the earlier film. There were other instances where I felt the script writers and the producer were trying to be as PC as possible. The story dragged, and all in all I found it flat.
The casting was OK with one exception -- Lisa Bonet, a generally competent actress, was sadly miscast as Heather LeLache, George's court-appointed lawyer. The role called for an in your face, very black lady with an attitude, not a wimpy cutie.
Crowned and Dangerous (1997)
Another Texas Cheerleader
A `Wacky Chick' flick. A beauty contestant winds up dead and the Usual Suspects are rounded up. Another entry in the vein of the Texas Cheerleader, this is an average example of its type.
Yasmine Bleeth turns in her usual wholesome girl performance, and Jill Clayburgh does a good job as her stressed-out slightly obsessed mom.
Some mildly funny moments listening to the vapid self-serving PR coming out of contestants' mouths. (`I'd like to own a restaurant so I can give left-over food to the homeless.')
You have to ask yourself what people are using for brains when they think a cheerleader spot or beauty crown is worth killing for!
Mother Knows Best (1997)
Just protecting her daughter . . .
A fine entry in what I call the 'Wacky Chick' genre, this movie is just made for everybody with overprotective and/or manipulative parents (mothers, especially). We have here a delicious case of people getting exactly what they deserve.
Rich-bitch Momma Celeste (Joanna Kerns), buys naive nice-kid Laurel (Christine Elise) everything she could ever need or want -- a college education, a condo, a car, you name it. But wait . . . something is terribly wrong here . . . Seems Laurel is very involved with her career and has absolutely no interest in dating the Jaguar-driving yuppie doctors, lawyers and other assorted phonies mom keeps throwing her way. So what does momma do? Why, she answers a personal ad on her daughter's behalf. Personally, I see no logic here, since rich guys probably don't place such ads (at least, not to find a wife!), but by this point in the film it's already pretty apparent that Momma Celeste isn't wound too tight.
A few days later, nice-guy Ted (Grant Show) calls Laurel at work. Reluctantly, she meets the guy. They hit it off and things are fine until mom finds out that Ted (ugh) works for a living. Seems the guy owns an auto repair business. No college degree! No MBA. No Har-vahd Law or Medical degree! The guy works his ass off, runs a thriving business and makes good money, but nothing he does is good enough for Momma Celeste. Despite her best efforts to sabotage the relationship, Ted and Laurel fall in love and get married. Happy ending for Ted and Laurel. No problem, right? Wrong.
A year goes by. Laurel is pregnant and tries to reconcile with mom. What does mom do? Recommends a divorce lawyer, that's what. When that fails, she tries to get the IRS to ruin her son in law. She can't face having poor Ted in the family. I mean, the guy actually knows how to change a tire! No, this won't do at all. When all else fails, mom decides to have the guy whacked.
Now, most female murderers seem to be cowards – they opt for poison or a knife in the back. Celeste, being rich, is a bigger chicken than normal, so she hires a local low-life (about whom she knows absolutely nothing!) to do the job. Oh well, nobody ever said you had to be smart to be rich.
That's the set-up. Any more would be a spoiler. If you want to see how it all comes out and have a couple of hours to kill, you can probably catch it on Lifetime.
The President's Analyst (1967)
A Spy behind Every Bush
This film is so 60s it's hard to believe it's still so funny. Coburn is perfect as the Presidential shrink, and the spies -- well, you'll have to see them for yourself.
In addition to the shrinks and the spies, this movie has hippies, tourists from New Jersey and the mother of all sinister organizations, bent on nothing less than World domination.
I first saw this movie a year or so after joining the military, and it couldn't have been better timed for me. Making fun of the paranoia that engulfed us all then was just what I needed. Watching it again on cable in 2002 was just as much fun.
Think "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." meets "Get Smart," with a literate script and you'll get the idea.
Mr. Deeds (2002)
Adam Sandler ain't no Gary Cooper
Well here we go again. "Mr. Deeds," as anyone over the age of 20 or so should have figured out, is a so-so remake of Frank Capra's "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)."
The thing with Capra is, there's *always* a message. I'm not really sure what Steven Brill was trying to do.
There are a lot of slapshtick (sic) pranks and one-liners, most of which are in the trailers and promos.
I didn't really care for it, but I'm not a big Sandler fan either. Could be I'm missing something.