User:GMES-kids/sandbox

This page is about the Geohydrologist. For other uses, see GMES-kids/sandbox (disambiguation).

John S. Gierke
John Gierke is department chair of GMES at Michigan Technological University
Born	John Something Gierke (1963-11-04) November 4, 1963 Sault St. Marie, Michigan, United States
Education	Michigan Tech, Ordovician-present
Occupation	Waterologist
Years active	1963-present
Spouse	Lynn ​ ​ (m. 1987)​
Children	2
Website	JSGierke@MTU

John Something Gierke (/gir key) (born 11/4/1963) is a Professor of Geology and Engineering – or something like that – at Michigan Tech-No-Logical University and is currently serving as the Department Chair of the Geological Mining and Engineering and Sciences. He is known for his ability to effectively edit student papers, theses and dissertations; his love of precise diction; and his matter-of-fact, sardonic sense of humor. He has also appeared in number of infomercials advertising a line of body hugging fleece blankets.

Early life and influences

An early waterfowl experience.

Gierke was born way-back-when in Sault St. Marie, Michigan, the son of his mother and father. He grew up as an excellent fisherman and sub-par hunter of water fowl and incapable hunter of turkey. Growing up the son of police man Gierke learned a fine respect for the rule of law, especially Darcy’s. This respect for Darcy coupled with his passion for fishing and never ending quest to eat ducks and geese led him to college to pursue understanding of groundwater flow.'

Growing up in the frozen north, John quickly learned of the many great entertainments of ice, including ice fishing, ice sitting, and ice hockey. These early influences led to a later and much more profound admiration for the hockey talents of Hancock resident Tommy Figures.

Career

These locks paid the big bucks.

Gierke has had a long and fulfilling career as a professional wrangler of department budgets, blueberries, farm animals, partial derivatives, and graduate students. It is little known, however, John enjoyed several other careers prior to geohydrology consulting and academic pursuits:

Stud Muffin's Tattoo Shop

John spent what many consider a disappointing year as an apprentice to the Upper Peninsula’s premier tattoo shop, Stud Muffin’s in Curtis, MI. While initially showing promise in the area of sweeping, Gierke was deemed lacking in artistic skill and eventually asked to leave.

Freelance modelling

During the early 80’s Gierke made a modest living as a hairstyle consultant. The height of his exposure was on the cover of the September 1986 issue of GQ, for which he received a lifetime subscription.

Gierke Blueberry Farm

Learning Excel.

John, we love picking these potatoes for you! Yay, free potatoes!

After studying to become engineers, John and his wife Lynn decided the world's real problem was that people did not have enough blueberries. They obliged this need by opening a blueberry farm in 2005. In 2010 and 2011 John went to El Salvador to learn how to use Excel so that he could make graphs about his blueberries for the public. While there, local children also taught him how to blog, use Facebook, and put selfies on Twitter. Since then he has kept an active blog about the farm at http://gierkeblueberryfarm.blogspot.com

Michigan Tech

Not much is known of Gierke’s life in the mid 80s. Unverified sightings place him in both Haight Ashbury and Key West during the summer of ’88. What is certain is that he surfaced in Houghton that decade with the intent to study Civil Engineering. He has inexplicably remained in Houghton ever since. He spends most of his day annotating his students' work with witty "Track Changes" comments, writing sarcastic notes to the people who don't refill the 6th floor kitchenette coffee when it runs out, and organizing graduate students to do manual labor for fun.

Minions

Gierke's angelic demeanor. He is often observed with a halo.

A typical graduation ceremony on the fishing boat.

Students need a gentle reminder now and again that words have meanings.

Something with Bri.

"Drunk fishing is totally a sport."

• Emily Gochis, PhD Geology Candidate
• Luke Bowman, PhD Geology Candidate
• Tyler Barton, M.S. Geology Candidate
• Jordan Van Sickle, M.S. Geology Candidate
• Alex Wohlgemuth, M.S. Geology Candidate
• Briana Drake, M.S. Environmental Engineering, Peace Corps Master International Program
• Stephanie Tubman, M.S. Geology
• Rob Hegeman, M.S. Geology, Peace Corps Masters International Program, RPCV-Honduras: Characterizing Spring Flows
• Jackie Houston, M.S. Geophysics, Peace Corps Masters International Program
• Miriam Rios-Sanchez, Ph.D. Geological Engineering: Remote Sensing for Characterizing the Quito Aquifer System
• Dan Smith, M.S. Geological Engineering, Peace Corps Masters International Program
• Ashlee Vincent, M.S. Environmental Engineering, Peace Corps Masters International Program, Serving in Suriname 2009-11
• Carla Alonso, M.S. Geology, Remote Sensing of Karst Terrains
• Aho, Robert (MSGE 1996): Bioventing VOCs
• Anderson, Cecilia P. (MSGL 2006): Visualization of Carbonation Reactions on CKD
• Benjakul, Rungroj (MSGL 2010): Use of Publically Available Models and Spatial Data for Modeling a Dioxane Plume
• Bruning, Jill N. (MSGE 2008): Remote Sensing for Groundwater Exploration in Volcanic Terrains
• Carpenter, Michael D. (MSGE 1994): VOC Transport in Clay Soils
• Castor, Meaghan G. (MSGE 2002): In-Situ Ozone Sparging of TCE in a Meso-Scale Apparatus
• Ebsch, Jeffery (MSGE 1993): Permeability of NAPLs in Clays
• Fader, Caleb (MSCE 2011), PCMI, RPCV-Uganda: Retrofitting Wells Contaminated with Iron Bacteria
• Fish, Randy (M.S. Geology 2011, PCMI, RPCV-Tanzania: Tools for Forecasting Spring Flows)
• Fuchs, Valerie J. (PhD Environmental Engineering 2009): Vertical Flow Constructed Wetlands for Small Scale Wastewater Treatment
• Gross, Essa L. (MSGL 2008, PCMI, RPCV-Nicaragua): Characterizing the Productivity of Rope-Pump Wells
• Gu, Yingxin (MSGL 2001): Sorption of SO2 on Volcanic Ash
• Harrison, Elizabeth (MSGL 1991): Modeling VOC Transport in Structured Soils
• Huntzinger, Deborah N. (PhD Geological Engineering 2006): Carbon Dioxide Sequestration in CKD
• Johnstone, Tammi L. (MSCE 1996): Modeling Contaminant Transport Under Unstable Flow
• Kremer, Theodore J. (MSGE 2002): Surfactant-Enhanced Air Sparging
• Kucharski, Matthew J. (MSEnE 2010, PCMI, RPCV-Philippines): Characterizing Spring Hydrology and Catchment Area
• Grenkowitz, Heidi L. (Masters of Engineering)
• Muraski, Jennifer L. (MSEnE 1997): Bioventing of Jet Fuel Contamination
• Myre, Elizabeth A. (MSEnE 2008): Appropriate Analyses for Manual Pumping Tests
• Sanders, Deborah L. (MSGE 1997): Partitioning Tracer Tests for Characterizing NAPL Volumes
• Sawall, R. Hardy (MSGE 2000): Thermal Remediation of VOCs from Soil
• Schmunk, Steven W. (MSGE 1994): In-Situ Thermal Mixing for Clean Up of VOCs from Clay Soils
• Sherman, Heidi M. (PhD Geology 2004): Occurrence of Uranium in Sandstone Aquifers
• Shonsey, Cara W. (MSEnE 2009, PCMI, RPCV-Mali): Quantifying Available Water Supply at a Village Scale
• Smith, Gwynneth (MSCE 2011, PCMI, RPCV-Suriname): Sustainability of Water Systems in the Interior of Suriname
• Stright, Lisa E. (MSGE 1999): Modeling Biosparging
• Taege, Deborah A. (MSEnE 2002): Peformance Monitoring of Air Sparging for PCE
• Wang, Congli (MSGE 1995): Modeling In-Situ Thermal Mixing for Clean Up of VOCs from Clay Soils
• Bachmann, Nancy-Jeanne (MSEnE 2007): Monitoring LID Peformance
• El-Beshry, Manar (PhD Environmental Engineering at Rice University): Modeling SVE Performance at a Jet Fuel Site
• Hein, Gretchen L. (PhD Environmental Engineering): Air Sparging
• Hutchins, Margot J. (PhD Mechanical Engineering 2010): Incorporating Social Consideration in Decision Making for Sustainability
• Keating, Gordon (MSGL 1991): Modeling Influence of Sea Water on Volcanic Eruptions
• Quinnan, Joseph (MSGE 1994): Quantifying Uncertainty in Drawdwon in Aquifer Systems
• Ritchie, Beatrice (MSGL 1992): Image Processing NAPL Flow in Glass Models
• VanAntwerp, Darby J. (MS Geology 2006 at Clemson University): Modeling Field Scale Air Sparging of PCE
• Wojick, Christopher L. (PhD Environmental Engineering, MSEnE): Evaluating the Performance of Air Sparging and SVE, Pestide Transport Under Unstable Flow

Famous Quotes

"Sometimes, I really impress myself. You might not understand."

"For stationary, creeping, incompressible flow $D\left(\rho u_{i}\right)/Dt\approx 0$

$\mu \nabla ^{2}u_{i}+\rho g_{i}-\partial _{i}p=0$,

$-\left(\kappa _{ij}\right)^{-1}\mu \phi u_{j}+\rho g_{i}-\partial _{i}p=0$,

$\kappa _{ni}\left(\kappa _{ij}\right)^{-1}u_{j}=\delta _{nj}u_{j}=u_{n}=-{\frac {\kappa _{ni}}{\phi \mu }}\left(\partial _{i}p-\rho g_{i}\right)$,

$q_{n}=-{\frac {\kappa _{ni}}{\mu }}\left(\partial _{i}p-\rho g_{i}\right)$.

${\boldsymbol {q}}=-{\frac {\kappa }{\mu }}\left({\boldsymbol {\nabla }}p-\rho {\boldsymbol {g}}\right)$."

"Volcanoes: You've seen one you've seen them all."

“Just, be smarter."

Awards

• Most Outstanding Mullet in the UP, 1980-2001
• Recruiter of the Year, Ducks Unlimited
• People's Choice, Best Use of Darcy's Law in an Undergraduate Course, Michigan Tech, 2014
• Second Place, John Gierke Impersonation Contest (First Place: Chet Hopp)

#sexappeal

Second place, John Gierke Impersonation Contest

• Gold Award for Excellent Canadian Tuxedo, Canadian Tuxedo Association of America
• Best Dressed (Earth Tones Category), Michigan Tech Department of Geological and Mining Engineering and Sciences
• Gierke, J.S., PI/PD (formerly G.J.S. Bluth PI/PD), E.L. *Gross, co-PI, W.I. Rose, co-PI, and G.P. Waite, Remote Sensing for Hazard Mitigation and Resource Protection in Pacific Latin America Project, National Science Foundation Partnerships for International Research and Education, $2,544,000, September 2005 – December 2012.
• Second Place, Best Blueberries in the UP (First Place Lynn Gierke)
• Best Use of Functional Hiking Boots in a Professional Wardrobe

Gierke in Popular Culture

John's audition for Pirates of the Caribbean

Body double for Harrison Ford in "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark"

Little known fact, Michael Jackson stole John's moves

• Inspired both the songs "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon and "Brown-eyed Girl" by Van Morisson
• Helped Kevin Costner install Solinst Levelogger Juniors throughout the set of "Waterworld"
• Auditioned for Pirates of the Caribbean, lost out to Orlando Bloom
• Body double for Harrison Ford in "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Art"
• Taught Michael Jackson many things he knows

Publications

Gierke has long been fascinated by superior hockey players.

World's most useless farm animal.

1. Gierke, J.S., “Conventional Vapor Extraction,” Section 7.2.1 in CHAPTER 7. REMEDIATION OF ORGANIC CHEMICALS IN THE VADOSE ZONE by L. Murdoch, in Vadose Zone Science and Technology Solutions, B.B. Looney and R.W. Falta (eds.), Battelle Press, Columbus, Ohio, Volume II, pp. 951-969, 2000.
2. Gierke, J.S., D.L. *Sanders, and D.L. Perram, "Laboratory Studies of Aqueous Partitioning Tracer Tests for Measuring Nonaqueous Phase Liquid Volumes," Water Environment Research, 71(4), 465-474, 1999.
3. Gierke, J.S., C.L. *Wojick, and N.J. Hutzler, "Field Test of Air Sparging Coupled with Soil Vapor Extraction," Chapter 11 in Innovative Subsurface Remediation: Field Testing of Physical, Chemical, and Characterization Technologies, ACS Symposium Series 725, edited by M.L. Brusseau, D.A. Sabatini, J.S. Gierke, and M.D. Annable, American Chemical Society, Washington, D.C., 153-166, 1999.
4. Gierke, J.S., D.R. Shonnard, and A.S. Mayer, "Multidisciplinary Subsurface Remediation Courses: Fundamentals, Experiments, and Design Projects," Journal of Engineering Education, 555-565, 1998 Supplement.
5. *Wojick, C.L., N.J. Hutzler, and J.S. Gierke, "Solute Movement in an Unsaturated Sand Under Unstable (Fingered) Flow Conditions: Tracer Results," in Shallow Groundwater Systems, ICH-18, Chapter 16, 191-205, P. Dillon and I. Simmers, eds., AA.Balkema, Rotterdam, The Netherlands, 1998.
6. *Hein, G.L., J.S. Gierke, N.J. Hutzler, and R.W. Falta, “Three-Dimensional Experimental Testing of a Two-Phase Flow-Modeling Approach for Air Sparging,” Ground Water Monitoring & Remediation, 17(3), 222-230, 1997. doi:10.1111/j.1745-6592.1997.tb00597.x
7. Page 6 of 19
8. Gierke, J.S., and S.E. Powers, “Increasing Implementation of In Situ Treatment Technologies Through Field-Scale Performance Assessments,” Water Environment Research, 69(2), 1997. doi:10.2175/106143097X125353
9. Gierke, J.S., C. *Wang, O.R. West, and R.L. Siegrist, "In Situ Mixed Region Vapor Stripping in Low-Permeability Media. 3. Modeling of Field Tests," Environmental Science & Technology, 29(9), 2208-2216, 1995.
10. Siegrist, R.L., O.R. West, M.I. Morris, D.A. Pickering, D.W. Greene, C.A. Muhr, D.D. Davenport, and J.S. Gierke, "In Situ Mixed Region Vapor Stripping in Low-Permeability Media. 2. Full-Scale Field Experiments," Environmental Science & Technology, 29(9), 2198- 2207, 1995.
11. West, O.R., R.L. Siegrist, J.S. Gierke, S.W. *Schmunk, A.J. Lucero, and H.L. Jennings, "In Situ Mixed Region Vapor Stripping in Low-Permeability Media. 1. Process Features and Laboratory Experiments," Environmental Science & Technology, 29(9), 2191-2197, 1995.
12. Gierke, J.S., N.J. Hutzler, and D.B. McKenzie, "Vapor Transport in Unsaturated Soil Columns: Implications for Vapor Extraction," Water Resources Research, 28(3), 323-336, 1992.
13. Gierke, J.S., N.J. Hutzler, and J.C. Crittenden, "Modeling the Movement of Volatile Organic Chemicals in Columns of Unsaturated Soil," Water Resources Research, 26(7), 1529-1547, 1990.
14. Hutzler, N.J., B.E. Murphy, and J.S. Gierke, "State of Technology Review: Soil Vapor Extraction Systems," EPA 600/2-89-024, 87 pp., 1989.
15. Hutzler, N.J., J.S. Gierke, and L.C. Krause, "Movement of Volatile Organic Chemicals in Soils," in Reactions and Movement of Organic Chemicals in Soils, B.L. Sawhney and K. Brown, eds., Chapter 15, 373-404, Special Publication No. 22, Soil Science Society of America, Madison, Wisconsin, 1989.
16. Hutzler, N.J., J.C. Crittenden, J.S. Gierke, and A.S. Johnson, "Transport of Organic Compounds with Saturated Groundwater Flow: Experimental Results," Water Resources Research, 22(3), 285-295, 1986.
17. Manuscripts in Preparation for Peer-Reviewed Publications, near submission Note: Authors/co-authors noted with * are students advised or co-advised by J.S. Gierke
18. *Rios-Sanchez, M., J.S. Gierke, A.L. Maclean, “A Remote Sensing and Digital Terrain Model Approach to Identify and Characterize Fracture Patterns in the Quito, Ecuador Aquifer System” anticipated submission to the International Journal of Remote Sensing in September 2012.
19. Andrus*, A.B., K. A. Endsley*, S. Espino*, J. S. Gierke, “Mapping the Freshwater-Saltwater Interface in the Terminal Moraine of the Bering Glacier,” Chapter 19 in Bering Glacier: Interdisciplinary Studies of the Earth’s Largest Temperate Surging Glacier, Special Paper 462, R.A. Schuchman and E.G. Josberger, eds., The Geological Society of America, Boulder, Colorado, 341-350, 2010.
20. Gierke, J.S., Review of: Optimal Control of Soil Venting: Mathematical Modeling and Applications, H.H. Gerke, U. Hornung, Y. Kelanemer, M. Slodika, and S. Schumacher. Review Published in: Automatica, 37(5), 790-791, 2001.

Controversy

Mask controversy

Gierke once held the title of "most fashionable balaclava wearer in W. Chassell" before being being dethroned in 2010.

The inconsistent tare weight of the Gierke Blueberry Farm buckets has led many to believe his scales are rigged.

Gierke aspired to be a volcanologist until Bill Rose told him his math wasn't good enough.

See also

• Blueberries
• Laser cats
• Michigan residents
• Food outside DOW 610
• People who do not study volcanoes
• House husbands

External links

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