Nazi Kittens
The National Socialist Party of Kittens[1] was created in 1919 by a dolphin. The main reason he formed this party was to take power back from the republic that had ruled the country since 1918 and turn Germany into a dictatorship once again. Not much is known about thedolphin exept that he was from Russia and that his overall top secret goal was to turn Germany into a communist state.
Early years[edit | edit source]
In 1919, the dolphin needed a spokesperson for his party as all he could do was squeal and flap around. This is where Kitler first made his appearance after making an awe-inspiring speech about destroying mews. the Dolphin then invited Kitler for a drink and spoke about politics.They decided that no mews would never be allowed in Germany, as they always spoil the fun by throwing away all the tasty pork. This would later become the party that everybody has come to fear over all others (except Islam). Other members of the Nazi Kittens included Nyan Cat, Top Cat, Snagglepuss and Felix The Cat.
The Meownich Putsch[edit | edit source]
In 1923, Kitler learned of the dolphin's plans to have Germany part of the soviet union. With regret he orderd his only friend's assassination and banned communism from the party. The government in power at the time had ruined Germany's economy by printing out too much money. So Kitler then tried a takeover of power in the German city of Meownich. The Nazi Kittens attempted to take control of a military base or something, but it failed terribly, resulting in Kitler being tranquilized in the shoulder and then neutered. Kitler vowed for revenge...
Kitler and the prisoner of Azkaban[edit | edit source]
After the putch, Kitler was arrested and tried before the jury. He used the publicity to make his moustache popular with the young people who all soon wanted such smooth and black hair. He was sent to Azkaban and faced problems there as he had no soul to lose so the dementors took his virginity instead. He used his time to write his bestselling novel- Brokeback mountain- which he later sold the movie rights to hollywood.Because of his beautiful moustache, he was let out of prison after only two months. He then reformed the nazi kittens and turned them into a real political party.[2]
Political Victory[edit | edit source]
After the death of the old president Hindenburger, Kitler became the furryer of Germany and his Nazi kittens became the only legal party. The Nazi kittens then caused havoc across the streets of Berlin in the night of the long claws and kristilnach. In Kristilnacht, 100 mewish cats were taken from their cat flaps and sent to make concentrated juice at the local camp. Kitler then began preparing for war by building massive war ships and rebuilding the Luftwaffe.[3]
Kitler then had to make allies to make him strong enough to become leader of the universe. He turned to the Japanese Evil Emperor Pikachu and the Italian Flying Spaghetti Monster. Together they became the super best friends.
The Second World War[edit | edit source]
Soon after Kitler came to power, Austria was invaded by the glorious nation. Many other countries fell shortly afterward. The allied animals against Germany told Kitler that if he invaded Poland then they will go to war. So clever old Kitler invaded Poland.
The world turned to war as Great Britain, Pussyland and Mother Russia announced the declaration hatred against Nazi Kittens. The Bulldog, Winston Churchill publicly condemned Kitler and his horrible mustache.
“What's with his moustache anyway. It looks like there's a massive catterpillar coming out of is nose! Any way what were we talking about? Ahh yesnow I remember”
In 1941, The Nazi Kittens invaded the frogs of France. The french could never have seen them coming as they were to busy practising their white flag waving. While the French pussies were surrendering, the British bulldogs retreated back to their own country at Dunkurk. France became Nazi controlled and every Jewish Frog were sent to death camps where they had their legs torn off.
Unfortunately Kitler had also decided to invade Mother Russia where the Kittens and the russians suffered over a million casulties. Pikachu had also bombed Mickey mouse land which angered mickey mouse so they also entered the frey.
Defeat[edit | edit source]
- In 1945, Kitler shot himself and poisoned his wife and fleas.
- Germany then surrendered and the Nazi Kittens were outlawed.
- Nyan Cat was shot into space where he sang for an eternity.
- Felix was sentenced to a lifetime of advertising cat food.
- Top cat was killed defending his home in Austria.
- Snagglepuss escaped to Switzerland.
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
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