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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Paul Wurtsmith

[edit]
Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)


Another commander in the Southwest Pacific Area. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:14, 5 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments

AustralianRupert (talk) 08:58, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments Support All comments addressed. —Ed!(talk) 12:53, 26 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • " he was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Air Reserve" -- was this through OCS or a direct appointment?
    • "The P-40 was better armored and faster in level flight than the Japanese fighters and could outdive them." -- It would help to note which Japanese fighters you're referring to here.
    • "Major General George Kenney assumed command of both the Allied Air Forces in the South West Pacific Area," -- Do you mean two numbered Air Forces? If so it could be linked, or the two units could be noted.
    • "Wurtsmith also became one of a handful of American officers to be decorated by the Australian government" -- add "during World War II" right?
    • Two duplicate links: P-39 Airacobra and B-25 Mitchell; no disambiguation link problems.
    • I'm having connection issues with three of the links. [1] Are you having this problem?
      • Tweaked two of the links. As for for Kenney, well the Air Force goes offline all the time. It'll probably come back, but is is a book, and people can read the hard copy. I think it has been archived somewhere. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:31, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Otherwise in great shape. —Ed!(talk) 13:35, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • CommentsSupport
    • No dab links [2] (no action required).
    • External links check out [3] (no action required).
    • Images lack Alt Text [4] so you might consider adding it (not and ACR requirement though - suggestion only).
    • The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action required).
    • Images are all PD and seem appropriate to the article (no action required).
    • The Earwig Tool still doesn't appear to be working but given the editor's previous contributions I have no reason to suspect any issues with copyright violations [5]. Google searches reveal nothing (no action required).
    • No duplicate links (except for the P-39 link which makes sense).
    • In the lead - "...he served in instruction and command positions...", perhaps "...he served in instructional and command positions..." instead?
    • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:02, 26 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • "...his fighters downed 78 enemy aircraft in the defense of Darwin." Would it help our readers to mention Darwin is in northern Australia and it was against the Japanese? For example "his fighters downed 78 enemy aircraft in the defense of Darwin in northern Australia, against Japanese attacks." (suggestion only - it is certainly implied)
    • "...The heaviest Japanese attack had been by 9 fighters and 24 bombers...", should be "...The heaviest Japanese attack had been by nine fighters and 24 bombers..." per WP:MOSNUM.
    • "That month nine P-40s and thirteen Japanese aircraft were lost...", → "That month nine P-40s and 13 Japanese aircraft were lost."
    • "Wurtsmith also became one of a handful of American officers..." This sentence starts in the same way as the one before it, making it seem a little repetitive. Possibly substitute "Wurtsmith" with "He"? (suggestion only)
    • For the Craven and Gillson works in the reference section I wonder if the series each of them belongs to could be included?Anotherclown (talk) 09:39, 26 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 01:30, 28 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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