N'Sync

This article refers to the disease. For the band, please see 'N Sync.

“N'Sync? More like N'STINK!!!1!11one! lol, am I right?”

~ 12-year-olds invading the internet on N'Sync

“Bring it on down to Omletteville!”

~ Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live

“ Ooooh. Britney Spears. Has smashed mine. Balls she says to. Me that it was justified. Now I can no longer be. A man sings this song with me. ”

~ Justin Timberlake pretending to be a Japanese poet

N'Sync is a rare, yet extremely lethal strain of the AIDS virus. According to the Made-Up Statistics Board of America, N'Sync is responsible for 103% more deaths than Super AIDS, which possibly makes N'Sync one of the most deadly diseases of all time. In 2005 alone, N'Sync caused over 9000 deaths.

History of N'Sync

Lance Bass, the first known victim to contract the N'Sync virus

Although the exact cause and origin of N'Sync is unknown, there have been many stories of it spreading around ever since the first known case of N'Sync was found in Lance Bass. This origin, however, seems to be the most accurate*:

It possibly started in the city of San Francisco. Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, and 3 other metrosexuals that nobody cares about, had a 5-way. A really, really weird 5-way, to be exact. And all of them were performing the same move, simultaneously, hence the name "N'Sync" (which sounds like "In Synch".) About a week after this event, all 5 of these guys started feeling like they had AIDS. Maybe even Super AIDS. Then it started getting worse. Being the ghey dood that he is, Lance Bass was the only one of them to talk to a doctor about this. Apparently, Lance Bass had contracted an unknown form of AIDS. The doctor named the disease N'Sync, and for some reason, the disease spread like AIDS... oh.... nevermind.

Also, these 5 guys still haven't died from getting the disease. Such a shame...

* Definition of "Accurate", in this case, is "made up on the spot"

Justin Timberlake

Worshipped in some cultures as a minor fertility deity, Justin Timberlake is known for inventing the science of suave. Often considered the sexiest man alive, Timberlake is known for killing people with his pure sexiness. No man can match Timberlake's raw power in the bedroom, and many have died trying. Scientists operating out of South Africa are trying to find a cure for Timberlake, but often meet challenges when his sex-god nature is taken into consideration.

Sample Timberlake Conversation:

Justin: Hello, Ma'am. Are you doing anything later tonight?

Woman: I offer up myself to you, oh sexy one.

Justin: Just what I wanted to hear.

Spread of N'Sync

How exactly N'Sync had spread is also unknown. Supposedly, the guys who first contracted N'Sync started making really crappy music. Then, a group of suicidal masochists bought their albums, and these guys also contracted the virus. Then, the albums started getting even more and more popular, and thousands of teenage girls, suicidal maniacs, and homosexuals everywhere contracted a deadly case of AIDS, and all of them died. To this day, N'Sync carrying bacteria floats around, giving people this awful disease.

Symptoms

There are many symptoms to tell if someone has N' Sync. Including, but not limited to the following:

• The victim claims to be "bringing sexy back"
• Common use of MySpace, and "Txt spk".
• Listening to the BackStreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Hilary Duff, Justin Beiber, Britney Spears, and New Kids on the Block.
• Speaking through interpretive dance.
• An unusual interest in the male pelvis.
• Speaking with a lispe.
• Doing the splits with relative ease.
• Victim calls everyone "girlfriend".
• Overuse of inside jokes.
• Wearing tight leather or pink sweaters. (Especially serious if they wear pink leather jackets.)
• Coming out of the closet multiple times in a day.
• Any other "gay" cliche.

If you or a friend suffer from 4 or more of these symptoms you/they may be suffering from a case of N'Sync...

Or maybe they're just a flaming homosexual.

Although Justin Timberlake is getting sick from N' Sync, he has claimed to come up with a cure for it through Gregorian Chants. Turned out the album just makes the case of N' Sync even worse

Is there a cure?

No. However, the long-term effects of N'Sync can be held back with the use of N'Sync-B-Gone, a special pill made just for the treatment of the disease! (Side effects include Herpes, Crabs,Gonorrhea, Chlamidya, Other forms of AIDS, and sudden death. May also worsen your case of the virus.)

Charity for N'Sync Victims

Currently, due to a vast amount of homophobes and communists, there is only one charity fund for N'Sync victims. Money can be donated to aid in the treatment of people with the disease (Lawl, get it? Aid?) at NoneofthismoneyactuallygoestoarealcharityI'mjusttryingtogetmoremoney.com.

So far, the fund has raised millions....except in Poland for some unknown reason.