Dave (BotBots)

Dave is a human from the BotBots continuity family.

"Inspector Gadget is always right. Well, except for that time in Tangiers. And then there was that mess in Austria. I was almost right. Would you believe... close? How about half right? Most of the time? No? Well..."

Dave the Security Guard (aka "the flesh creature", "Flesh-Being-1", and "Darve"; b. February 29) doesn't ask for much out of life, which is probably for the best, as life seems disinclined to give him much outside of grief and disappointment. The sole member of night security at the mall the BotBots call home, Dave constantly manages to get in the way of his own ambitions of mediocrity. Out of luck, out of shape, and out of his depth, the meager scraps of respect he strives for constantly slip from his greasy grasp, even to the point where his own mother makes fun of him. Desperation pours off him like sweat, as do fast-food crumbs and actual sweat.

And yet...

And yet...

For all that's going against him, there seems to be no malice in Dave's heart. Sure, he wants to capture those tiny robots he's convinced are hiding in the mall... but only so people will see he was right for once. He'd be happy with a little bit of recognition... and maybe a fresh donut, rather than the day shift's stale leftovers. Not that he won't eat the stale leftovers. Off the floor. But, you know. Man's gotta have a dream. And for all its headaches, he seems to love his job, love the mall he works at... he just wants to be where he belongs.

Maybe he's not so different from certain Bots after all.

Fiction

BotBots cartoon

Voice actor: Mark Little (English), Svatopluk Schuller (Czech), Sonny Lahey (Danish), Martijn van Voskuijlen (Dutch), Samuel Kujala (Finnish), Emmanuel Garijo (French), Rainer Fritzsche (German), Zoltán Karácsonyi (Hungarian), Kamal Chaturvedi (Indian), Harda Billy (Indonesian), Simone Crisari (Italian), Mohd Azizul Sani Mohd Salleh (Malay), Kim A. Wifladt (Norwegian), Wojciech Chorąży (Polish), Douglas Guedes (Brazilian Portuguese), André Raimundo (European Portuguese), Pavel Dorofeev (Russian), Nacho López (Castilian Spanish), Miguel Angel Ruiz (Latin-American Spanish), Cristian Neacșu (Romanian), Christian Hedlund (Swedish), İlham Erdoğan (Turkish)

When he was a child, Dave's mom made him go to Clown Camp one summer. His experiences at the hands of the camp counsellor, named Laffo, would leave Dave scarred well into adulthood, to the extent just remembering would reducing him to a quivering, huddled mess. Lone Bot and Carb

Slappy Meal.

When the energon cloud brought the BotBots to life, an unknowing Dave became their greatest fear, even as he was completely oblivious to their constant wild partying. On one of his rounds, as he lamented how he'd run out of podcasts to listen to, he found a number of items scattered around the main hall of the mall, including a discarded juice box. Naturally, Dave decided to drink it, only to find the flavor disgusting, and discarded it again. A little while later, Dave had managed to find some new podcasts to listen to, including a self-affirmation podcast, blissfully unaware of a squad of BotBots trying to avoid his gaze, even as they commandeered a ride-around train. However, the Lost Bots' attempts to drive the train up an escalator made enough noise to draw even Dave's attention. Investigating, he found only a random pile of objects and a free burger. Having learned nothing from the juice box incident, he prepared to eat it... only for it to be slapped from his hands by a tiny flashlight robot. His surprise grew when the burger turned into a little robot too! However, the two robots vanished before he could get a good look at them, as did the items on the train. Confused, Dave decided to return the train back to where it belonged, though the lights and sounds it made started giving him Clown Camp flashbacks. Once he returned to the darkness of his office, Dave began to plan. Knowing he had seen some tiny robots, he scribbled down their likenesses, and realizing no-one would believe his story until he captured one, Dave declared this was "just the beginning!" Mall Than Meets the Eye

Despite this, Dave was unable to get anyone to believe his stories about tiny robots. Not his boss, not that bus driver, not even his own mom, who just laughed at him. Like, a lot. So Dave assembled a variety of traps for the tiny robots, filled with all sorts of things he assumed (incorrectly) would lure them out, lack of engineering qualifications necessary to build the traps be darned. After leaving to do his nightly rounds, he returned to find his traps had, somehow, rebuilt themselves into traps that worked, one of which had caught something. Investigating, Dave found... an empty cardboard box. Unaware of the large hole cut in the box, Dave stormed off, vowing that it wasn't over. (Never) Be Yourself

On February 29th, despite it being his birthday, Dave still had to work. However, he planned to treat himself by buying a cupcake from the fancy vending machine (a plan his mom mocked). While in his office, Dave decided he would also splurge on the Mega Shogun Raptorzord figure he'd had his eyes on, since his birthday only came once every four years, right? As he was entering his card details, he was distracted by a random noise. By the time he looked back up again, his order had now been increased to one thousand. Dave's attempts to cancel the order only made things worse, not just confirming the purchase but adding the extra expense of express shipping, and he was forced to call customer service, only to find he was thirtieth in line (on the plus side, the hold music was his favorite song). Eventually, Dave's number came up, and he was told there was nothing that could be done about his situation. An exasperated Dave realized he was late for his rounds anyway. While out and about, he was lured by the sight of a massage chair. Deciding to pamper himself, he sat down, but soon the chair turned on him, subjecting him to a decidedly non-relaxing experience. Eventually getting free, a battered and bruised Dave reached the vending machine, fiercely determined to get his cupcake. Not even the machine refusing to take his dollar would forestall him... until the cupcake of his desire got stuck against the glass. Reaching breaking point, Dave vented his frustration on the vending machine, setting off its alarm. Defeated, Dave trudged off back to security to turn it off. By the time he returned, the cupcake had mysteriously disappeared. Lamenting his lot, Dave noticed an ordinary bran muffin jammed in the machine's door, and tried eating it, not even caring when it fell into a pile of scattered burger remains. In Dave's mind this justified the entire night. Escape from Snackatraz

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

Eager for recognition, Dave spent a night taking numerous selfies to submit to the MallFace app, hoping they'd be good enough to get him a spot in ads for the mall, which would make him mall famous, the "best" kind of famous! They were not good enough. Despondent, Dave returned to the security office for a snack break and nap. When he woke up again, his selfies had been mysteriously improved and received a ton of likes, earning him that coveted commercial role!... which he then blew by flubbing his lines and tripping over the equipment. Also, he looked nothing like the winning selfie. Phoning It In

One night, while out on his rounds, Dave saw a bird flying around the food court, but figured since it wasn't bothering anyone, it wasn't his problem to deal with. Live and Let LARP

Much to the consternation of the BotBots, Dave spent a whole three days not buying his usual, er, "meals" from the mall vending machines. As it transpired, this was because Dave had been saving up his money to buy a fancy macaron, with the intention of taking it to his favorite bench in the creepy abandoned "Dark Side of the Mall" to eat it. Stopping to take a pre-celebratory selfie, he was distracted by what kind of filter to put on it. His reverie was interrupted by creepy voices coming from one of the abandoned stores. Investigating, poor Dave found himself surrounded on all sides by the store's creepy dolls speaking in unison. The experience triggered Dave's memories of Clown Camp, reducing him to a quivering, huddled mess on the floor. Just as he managed to escape the nightmares, he saw the nearby merry-go-round had reactivated itself, and his macaron had somehow transported itself onto one of the ride's horsies. Advancing, he slipped on some marbles, and when he got back on his feet saw the macaron had gone. In a surprisingly canny move for him, Dave managed to put two and two together and realized this could only be the work of the tiny robots. As he searched the dark side of the mall, a tray of expired pastries appeared in his path. Never one to say "no" to suspiciously placed food, he devoured the lot (why, Dave?) and then went to have a nap. As he slept, he once again flashed back to Clown Camp... until one of the dolls said it would see him soon... Lone Bot and Carb

Following a mysterious trail of candy-coated chocolates, Dave tumbled headfirst into the daycare area's foam block pit, and discovered the "rescue" rope had been tied up out of reach. Ever alert, Dave... immediately fell asleep in the comfy, comfy foam. Once again, mysterious goings-on went on during his slumber, and the rope was untied and within reach by the time he woke up. Now freshly-rested, he went about his normal rounds until the tiny burger-bot he saw before rolled past him on a disco ball! Dave gave chase, for a little while at least, but was forced to give up when his body decided it had had enough and he needed another lie-down. On the Bot Prom Dance Floor Shortly after, Dave was forced to call off of work for the night, having eaten something that must have been extremely expired, given his usual tolerance for long-left-over food. The Ruckus Rally

When an unexpected, fresh pink-frosted donut mysteriously showed up inside the security office, of course Dave ate it. Little did he know that this was all a setup by one of those little robots to blame the burger-bot Dave had seen prior for the "murder" of a donut-bot (who was not the donut Dave ate, said bot being trapped in the daycare area... man, that place must be dangerous!), and he never knew. All he knew was hey, free donut! Crime and Bun-ishment

His hair was not perfect.

As Halloween drew near, Dave anticipated the upcoming mall employee Halloween party, eager for the chance for someone, anyone, to notice him this year. As such, he made nightly trips to the new (and rapidly-expanding) Spector Halloween store in search of the perfect costume. First he tried a werewolf outfit, but that ended up giving him a full-body rash. Next a mummy, but honestly that was kind of lame even by Dave standards. After running some ideas past his mom (and getting no help whatsoever, as per usual), Dave returned to the store to try and up his game, donning a robe and ghoul mask with built-in voice distorter. However, the mask proved way too tight for him to take off, and the eyeholes too small to see through, and he ended up stumbling around the store, knocking things over and setting off tons of motion-detection-activated animatronics. Despite all this, he went to the office party in the getup anyway. Before he was taken away in an ambulance to have the costume removed in the emergency ward, he was, in fact, noticed and given a participation trophy, quite possibly the biggest honor of his life. Spirit of Halloween

Seeking a way to expend even less energy on his nightly rounds, Dave tried out the mall's security scootmobile at a rather timid point oh oh oh oh one miles per hour. After a fairly successful motion test, he tried to use the machine's gripper-arms to pick up a loose pretzel he spied on a food cart, but this proved more than he could handle and ended up sending the machine spinning around out of control, throwing him off and jamming itself in the up-escalator. Unable to reach the controls from below thanks to the scootmobile's flailing arms, Dave headed for the elevator to the upper level... and waited. And waited. And waited. And then, quite a disturbingly long time later, realized he'd not yet pressed a floor button. When the doors opened again to the upper level, Dave saw the scootmobile roaming through an absolutely devastated food court, prompting Dave to hit the door-close button and pretend all this never happened. Rage Against the Karaoke Machine

Elon Musk's humanoid Tesla robot predicted to be ready in months.

Realizing that his dreams of moving to the day shift, with its non-fossilized bagels and actual human contact, would continue to be out of his reach as long as his boss thought he was "smacker-beany" what with the ranting about little robots, Dave came to the only logical conclusion: he had to double-down and catch one of them to prove he's wasn't smacker-beany! Violently ignoring his inner voice which advised him to just drop the whole robots thing, he hatched his biggest, boldest plan yet... dressing up like a robot and rolling around asking the little robots to be his friends. It didn't work. In fact, it didn't work so hard that his rocket-powered roller skates went out of control, sending him careening wildly throughout the mall. Blinded by his own shoddy costume, Dave couldn't see the tiny robots who rushed to help him, severing the wiring on his controls which brought him to a standstill... but unfortunately, the rockets dislodged themselves and flew across the mall, blowing up one of the fountains. Dave shrugged this off, but this time he'd gone too far, and his boss fired him over the phone in mid-shift. Agent Smartlit

You have no idea how hard it was to pin down just one image to represent this sequence.

Despondent over losing his job in the only place he felt like he kinda-sorta belonged, Dave found himself singing a sad, sad song as he packed away what few possessions he had with him, including his prized —yet incomplete— collection of mall-restaurant collector's cups. Not long after he left, the mall's new night security arrived: a trio of overzealous, indiscriminate, and unstoppable security bots. The BotBots who had been partying harder than ever before in Dave's absence now found themselves running for their lives, with the security bots' lasers doing extensive damage to the mall. But during this darkest hour, Dave's numerous shortcomings proved to be the way to light them.

The Lost Bots, the little robots Dave first saw all those months ago, discovered the only way to stop the security robots was for someone to input the mall's master security code into one of them, and the only human they knew who would have that code was Dave. They sought out Ring-A-Ling, Dave's left-behind company phone, who told them that Dave had only ever put one number into her memory: Dave's mom. Calling his mom got them in touch with Dave, and the burger-bot posed as "Mr. Mallworker Fleshguy, Esquire" and told him to return to the mall to pick up his "donut of service". It actually worked, and Dave came back seeking fried dough, only to find the mall in ruins. Enraged at the destruction of the only place he ever loved, Dave stood up to the robots, then ran the crap away from them as the lasers started flying. Years of "living statue" practice served Dave well, as the security bots' motion detection systems were unable to pick up the incredibly-still Dave, letting him get in close enough to plug in the security code and shut them all down. And with this, Dave resumed looking for Mr. Mallworker Fleshguy, Esquire and his free donut, unaware that a camera-bot had recorded his heroics...

...and the next night, Dave was back in his old job, the video having been anonymously emailed to his boss. He settled down in his desk, then noticed a fresh donut and a cup of nice cool lemonade inside a Costa Pasta collector's cup, the only cup missing from his collection! Further spying a few loose sesame seeds near his delicious prize, a thought hit him like a train: did that little burger-bot get him his job back?! Shopping Brawl

"So these are Primus's children, his ultimate defense against my coming! Pathetic. But tasty."

During one particularly unaware night on duty, Dave somehow didn't notice the massive amounts of decoration and improvised spectator stands and obstacle course and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the random food and objects littered around the mall's main hall... but did notice a little french-fry robot in the middle of it all! Delighted, Dave picked the fry-bot up, assuming he was the sidekick to the burger-bot, and asked him to thank his "boss" for getting Dave his job back. Setting the deflated delectable down, Dave also assured the bot that he was through trying to find them and expose them, their secret was safe; after all, nobody ever believed him when he told them anyway. Dave left to return to his office, unaware that this little encounter had meant that Spud Muffin, the bot in question, had just broken the BotBots' Sacred Rule of the Mall: a BotBot may never reveal themselves to a human. And they were already honked off at Spud as they'd just found out about a whole lot of other things he'd done over the prior months, including setting Dave free from the foam pit (ruining Bot Prom and allowing the blame to fall on the Lost Bots for that) and the donutcide framejob.

As Dave opened the door to his office, he was shocked by the presence of an actual human being! Agent Wagner from Sector Seven had received a voice mail Dave had sent prior about the "little robots" and was very keen to investigate. And as she shut the door behind Dave, he realized both he and his new little pals were in trouble... The Goldrush Games - Part the Second